A Day in the Life

A saw this blog online the other day talking about how stay at home mom's are living it up.  "Sitting back and relaxing all day".  This really, REALLY, annoyed me.  I do not sit back and relax...like....ever!  To prove it....here is how my day went today. Beware, this may be long.

Echo started to cry at 6:41am.  Not a little cry, a full on,"I might be dying" type cry.  By the time I get to her in the crib, Ivy is crying too.  I try to give Echo her pacifier, but she is having no part of it.  She wants the bottle.  She flips out more.  I tell Ivy to lay back down because its not time to get up yet.  She says she wants mickey mouse.  So I find her toy and give him to her.  I go downstairs and get Echo a bottle, give it to her in her crib and go back to bed.  She drinks the bottle, and immediately I hear on the monitor that she is playing with the aquarium toy on her crib.  I'm aware that sleep time is over, but I try to sneak in a few more minutes before she becomes frantic.  By some miracle this lasts until 7:30.  Hallelujah!

I wake all the kids up.  Its "Late-Start Wednesday" at school, which means...bath day. I throw the big kids in the bath together, find clothes for them to wear, and get Echo's diaper changed and her clean clothes on. Then Corbin washes himself while I wash Dexter and Ivy.  Eventually I manage to get the kids out of the bath and dressed by about 8:15.  I send the boys to find their glasses and shoes while I take the girls into my room to get myself dressed and somewhat presentable and to get Ivy's hair done.  Echo cries when I put her down, so I dress quickly, throw my hair in a messy ponytail and hold her while I do Ivy's hair with one hand.  It doesn't turn out great, but it'll have to do because it's time to go.  I spend the next 5 minutes finding jackets and Corbin's backpack and we head out the door.  We get outside in time to see Scott jump starting our van because one of the kids left the door open again, and the door open light drained the battery....AGAIN!

I thank him, kiss him, and he goes to work as everyone else piles in the van.  I go back inside to get Ivy and Dexter some cereal to eat in the car since we have to go straight to Ivy's eye appointment. We drop Corbin off only 5 minutes late for breakfast at school. I drive while the kids eat and its the quietest its been all morning.  We arrive at the eye doctor by 9:15 - 15 minutes early, but thank goodness because I forgot to fill out the "first visit paperwork"  I rush through it in the parking lot before heading inside with 5 minutes to spare.  We wait in the waiting room for 20 minutes and manage to avoid any temper tantrums.  They call us back and Ivy gets her eye exam...which takes FOREVER.  She has to have her eyes dilated which does not go over well and makes things take even longer.  Two hours later we leave the office with a prescription for her to get glasses.  Darn it!

We rush home because its already lunch time and almost time for Dexter to go to preschool.  Ivy and Echo fall asleep in the car.  Nap-time is now officially ruined.  Bummer. When we get home the girls are still asleep, so I leave them in the van and prop the door to the garage open so I can hear if they wake up.  I feed Dexter some lunch and get sick to my stomach and realize I haven't eaten anything.  I scarf down some crackers with cheese and pickles just as Echo starts to cry in the van.  I pick her up, but Ivy's still sleeping so I let her be.  I give Echo some cheese and crackers in her high chair and most of it ends up on the floor. Ivy starts calling me, so I get her out of the car and feed her too.

Its time for school.   I tell Dex to grab his jacket and backpack and I load the girls up in the stroller.  I open the garage and Dexter tells me he's going to hide his "Woody hat" in his backpack and we start arguing over why he can't. The garage door finishes opening and standing outside it is a salesman, who witnesses Dexter and I arguing.  I'm slightly embarrassed, but ask what he wants.  He tells me my lawn is ugly with crabgrass. I want to punch him in the face....instead I politely told him that we cannot afford to pay for someone else to take care of our lawn so unless he's going to do it for free he should move on, because we're late.  He leaves and we walk to school.

When I get back home, Dexterless, I turn on Mickey mouse for Ivy and set Echo on the floor to play (this would normally be naptime, but from the 10 minute nap in the car, the window is now gone).  I take these precious minutes of calm to check my email.  During these minutes Ivy wets her pants.  I get her new ones and clean her up, and get back to my email.  A few minutes later I smell poop.  I look at Ivy and ask her if she pooped her pants she says "No, Echo did." I look to Echo who, sure enough, has managed to completely blow out the back of her diaper and pants and saturate her clothes in bright green, pastey poop.  It is unpleasant and I change her diaper and clothes (and clean the spot she left on the carpet).

 By this time Ivy is complaining that she is bored.  So we hop in the car and head over to the library.  I get Corbin a bunch chapter books because he reads too fast, and after much talk with the librarian and searching finally found myself a childbirth book that is good enough while I wait for my hypnobirthing book to come in.  We get to the door and its pouring rain outside.  A kid with two lip piercings and messy hair rides up on a skateboard and sees me holding a baby and six books and holds the door open for me and Ivy who is trailing behind, and I am impressed by his politeness.  We run to the car and then drive straight to the school to pick up the boys.

We get there a few minutes early so I start reading my childbirth book while Ivy plays games on the phone and Echo gnaws on my keys and bracelet.  Its still raining when the bell rings but the girls want to come with me up to the school to collect the boys, so I let them.  Dexter's teacher is standing in the regular place, but dexter isn't with her.  She tells me to come inside.  I know what that means.  Dexter is inside flipping out like a psycho over not getting to be first in line.  I apologize and drag him out of the school while he screams loudly.  Two minutes later Corbin comes out and we all walk back to the van, soaking wet, while Dexter continues to scream.  We get home, and Dexter manages to regain his composure and I feed them all a snack while I clean the kitchen.  After their snack I force them to do "chores" and then homework and afterward they are allowed some tv time.  I check Corbin's homework and do the finishing touches on their chores, and then sit down with them.  Its now 5:30 and Scott should be home any minute, which is great because I'm starving.  So I sat down at the computer to write this very story and here we are. Not a relaxing day at all.  So all those stay at home mom haters out there, can shut up!