What I could do if...

I've been thinking about all the things I do as a stay at home mom. Lately, not a lot.  I feel so overwhelmed with the kids sometimes that I don't get the house very clean, I don't fold the laundry promptly after it is cleaned, and I don't make the fabulous meals that I envision.  I've been holding two crying, sick babies for the past couple of days, cleaning up a little while they nap, and serve the family thrown together, lame meals, or pick up fast food.  I'm no super mom, but at 5:15 this morning while I rocked my sick little baby boy I realized why.

I don't get enough sleep.

Last night I was finally able to lay Malcolm down at 10:30pm.  At the time I thought, I should go to bed now, to get some sleep before he wakes up again. But I had to finish Dexter's birthday amigurumi before his birthday next week.  So I worked on that instead.  At 12:09am my eyes were burning so I went to bed.  I closed my eyes and literally 3 seconds later Malcolm started to cry.  I spent the next 30 minutes nursing him and getting him to go back to sleep (which isn't easy when he can't breath through his nose).

By 2:15am he was crying again.  This time I rocked him back to sleep because he was not interested in eating, but every time I tried to lay him back down he'd wake up. It was very frustrating.  Another 30 minutes went by before I was back in my own bed.

3:45am more crying. This time I was too tired to try and lay him back into the crib 8 times before success, so I just brought him back to bed with me, and we both fell asleep while he nursed.

5:15am hysterical crying and flailing.  He wanted his pacifier, but couldn't breath with it in, so he was upset.  I rocked him back to sleep....again.  And had my epiphany.  No wonder my house is a mess, the laundry still sits in the basket, and dinner is always disappointing.  I wonder what kinds of things I could get done if I could just get a decent nights sleep....

Someday.  This is my last baby.  The end is in sight.

I can't wait.