Ivy's heart update:
Ivy had an appointment with her cardiologist, the fantastically quirky Dr. Womack today. He said that our little Ives is doing magnificently. He specifically called her an adorable pistol. Her sats are in the normal range (for her) at around 77 percent, and pretty much nothing else has changed. Dr. Womack couldn't believe how big she is now, and just gushed over her cuteness (as most people do). No need for an echo for another 6 months. We're so happy for our healthy little firecracker!Living in fear:
Being pregnant at Dr. Womack's office brought back memories of June 2008 when we first met him so that he could confirm the regular doctors suspicion of Ivy's heart defect. I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time, and it was a truly awful day. Today I am about 16 1/2 weeks along, and living in fear of history repeating itself. Unless you have had a baby born with any sort of health issues you can't know the feelings that I go through. My number one fear is that I caused Ivy's heart defect, and that it can happen again. Every doctor assures me that it was nothing I did, but they also cannot give a clear-cut answer of what did cause it, and so I live with the fear that it could have been me. What if I did something wrong. I was not always consistent with taking my prenatal vitamins, and I drank caffeine. Also, I have always known that taking advil/motrin while pregnant is a big no-no, and therefore have been very careful to avoid them. But when Ivy was about 6 months old I learned that taking them while pregnant can cause heart defects, and I began to doubt myself. What if I took some before I knew I was pregnant, or took some by mistake? Its a horrible feeling to have this guilt, but its there, and I can't help it. This time around I've been more careful, avoiding caffeine, taking my prenatals EVERY SINGLE DAY, getting lots of exercise and plenty of rest, eating better and of course, sticking with tylenol. I have an appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine two days after Christmas to have a thorough ultrasound to check the baby's heart and other organs to make sure everything is developing correctly, and until that day, I fear for this baby. I pray that Heavenly Father won't let it happen again. I pray that I don't have to watch another baby go through countless surgeries and pain in order to live a somewhat normal life, but I am still afraid. I don't know how I'm going to make it through these next two weeks.
8 comments:
You are amazing Chelle, and I can only imagine the strength it took for both you and Britteny ro watch and wait with your babies. May God be there to comfort you guys as you wait this out:)
Chelle, you are a very good example of the best mom there is. You and Scott are super parents. I understand your concerns,is your name on the temple rolls? and I'm putting your name in the one here in St.George,ask Scott to give you a blessing,and keep in mind there are countless family and friends who pray for you and your cute little family daily. We love you so much,try and the rest you need,you are doing everything right,Heavenly Father is aware of you and I'm sure he'll help you through the next couple of weeks.
I'm so glad that Ives is doing so well. You will be okay. You are strong and do everything right. I'm so sorry you have worries, if there is anything I can do to help (for instance call you and talk nonsense and make really stupid jokes)just let me know. I Love you and your family. Keep faith.
I've been thinking of you all day since I read your post trying to decide what I wanted to say and I've decided that you are brave and faithful. Brave to do it again and faithful, knowing that despite what could happen you know that Heavenly Father knows you and what you need. All will be well, we love you and will keep you in our prayers this next two weeks.
Oh Rochelle, I'm so sorry to hear about your stress. I will keep you in my prayers. We just love you guys and your dang cute kids.
1. I didn't realize you were pregnant. Congrats!
2. I can only imagine your stress. Your post made me cry. I do hope you realize, however, that you have a lot of people praying for you and that baby.
Congrats on the pregnancy - that is so exciting! I've never had to go through all you had to with Ivy, but I understand your fears with this one.
Chelle, I hope your appointment goes well and you find out that you have a healthy baby. I know the feeling of guilt and the the fear that it will happen again,. Know that you are an amazing mother and God sends his special needs children to special mothers, so if you do get another one it just means that God sure does think a lot of your abilities as a mother. We are thinking of you and praying for you. Love you!!
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