Living a CRAPPY nightmare

I'm sorry if the title offends you. Believe me, it took all of my self control to describe this nightmare as "crappy" rather than its less attractive synonym.

SUNDAY NIGHT:
 Our basement bathroom flooded.  Water and, you guessed it, crap came out of the shower drain.  This isn't the first time.  It happened within weeks of moving in.  A rooter dude came out, did his job and it worked again, with occasional slow draining problems persisting, but was okay.  After it flooded this time Scott got down on his hands and knees with my dad's toilet snake, which we just happened to still have, and tried to get the clog dislodged.  It didn't work, so we marked the bathroom off limits, but soon realized it would flood if we used our kitchen sink, the dishwasher, the clothes washer, and the master bathroom's toilet, sink or shower.  So we could only use water from the hallway bathroom, and only use that toilet as well.  Not the worst case scenario, but close.

MONDAY:
 I woke up with a horrible case of food poisoning.  I couldn't get off the couch except to use the bathroom, which, lets be honest, wasn't helping our already horrible plumbing situation.  I was unable to preform my normal motherly duties that day, so the kids pretty much ran wild while I felt like I wanted to die.  Scott called our home warranty people about sending another rooter dude.  They gave us a lot of run around and nobody would be able to come until after 6 pm. Sometime around 5 Scott discovered that one of the kids had turned on the bathroom sink, and left it on, so the whole bathroom had flooded once again.  He was really mad (as anyone would be), and I felt responsible since I wasn't watching the kids very well. Scott cleaned up the entire mess by himself. Marde picked up the kids to keep them out of the way when the rooter guy finally showed up. Well, the rooter guy wasn't here 5 minutes before he left and said the home warranty company denied  coverage because of the way our pipes are.  We were very frustrated.  Scott went to Home Depot and rented one of their rooter machines and rooted it himself.  It sort of worked, for a very short time.

TUESDAY:
A plumber came over to stick a camera down the pipes (Yeah, our house had a colonoscopy!), and see what the problem was and try to fix it.  They rooted it (I don't know if that is the right term), power washed it,  found a lot of dirt in the line indicating a break somewhere and called another company to come over and locate exactly where the break is. Turns out there is a broken pipe under our walkway which would cost $3100 to fix, but that isn't even why the plumbing isn't working, which no one can really pinpoint.  Anyway, when they left our house they said, "Well, you can start using the stuff again, it works now."  So I did dishes after dinner.  The bathroom flooded a little, but Scott thought it was just because he hadn't put the toilet back in yet.

Wednesday.

I took a shower.  The bathroom flooded again. Scott had to leave to take a test for school, but when he got back I cleaned the whole bathroom on my hands and knees, scrubbing grout, steaming the tile and shower and spraying multitudes of disinfectant (all while I gagged), then Scott put the toilet back on.  He flushed it.  Instead of water going down, it went up.  I am thanking my lucky stars it didn't overflow after all our hard work, but obviously, the plumbing still isn't working.  We are frustrated.

We can't:
Do the dishes,
Do any laundry,
Let water go down the drain from the kitchen sink or master bathroom sink,
Use the master toilet or shower,
Use the basement bathroom at all, in fact we locked the door to it so no one can even get in.

I'm one more flood away from digging a hole in the yard and making everybody poop in there, and spraying everyone with the hose in the yard instead of baths or showers.  We are already using as few dishes as possible.  We are in paper plate mode until further notice.

If I could give anyone buying a house advice it would be this.  Don't be fooled by an old remodeled home.  Just because it looks nice, doesn't mean it doesn't have 50 year plumbing with ridiculous amounts of problems. I kind of want to burn it down right now.