April Book Two: What I thought I Knew

What I Thought I Knew

By Alice Eve Cohen

Synopsis from inside cover (edited for length): "Alice Cohen was happy for the first time in years. After a difficult divorce she was engaged to a wonderful man, she was raising a beloved adopted daughter, and her career was blossoming. Then she started experiencing mysterious symptoms........Alice was diagnosed with an abdominal tumor and sent for an emergency CAT scan which revealed....she was six months pregnant."

"At age forty-four with no prenatal care and no insurance coverage for high risk pregnancy, Alice was inundated with opinions from doctors and friends telling her what was ethical, what was loving what was right. With the intimacy of a diary, Cohen describes her unexpected odyssey through doubt, a broken medical system, and the complex terrain of motherhood and family in todays world."

Let me start off by saying, I chose this book from a list by Oprah of the 25 best books of 2009. I should have known better. I hated this book. HATED. IT. I'm not saying I didn't like the writing. The book was easy to read, it kept me engaged, I wanted to know what would happen next, but only because I was waiting for this woman to do the right thing. So although it was easy to read, it was difficult for me to get through.

When I read the quick overview on the internet I thought, Wow! A book I could relate to. Here is a book about a woman who is told when she is thirty that she is infertile. I was told the same thing at age 12. This woman gets pregnant unexpectedly, but doesn't find out for six months. Due to her infertile diagnosis she takes hormone replacement medicine for the entire six months before she finds out. This and her maternal age (44) will likely result in the baby having severe disabilities. Not all of that fits with me, but I did get pregnant with a baby who would have some severe disabilities.

I did not relate.

I was angry and disgusted with Alice's selfishness for the entirety of the book. I have never before considered myself a naive person, but apparently I am. I was appalled by Alice's inability to love this little baby growing inside her. I was appalled by the constant talk of her wanting to abort the baby and resenting the fact that it was legally too late to do so. I was appalled by her wanting to give the baby up for adoption based solely on the fact that it would be disabled. I was appalled that after the baby was born and home for several weeks that she was still considering adoption especially when she was given a diagnosis for the baby. I was appalled that even after the baby was born she was incapable of loving it.

I know first hand the heartache of knowing that the baby you are carrying inside is going to have problems. Not once did I consider abortion, not even when the doctors asked if I would be getting one. Not once did I say to Scott, we have to give this baby up for adoption because its going to be too much work. I loved that baby from the moment I knew she existed, and even more so after I knew about her broken little heart.

All Alice could think about was herself and how this baby would ruin her life. I know I shouldn't judge her, I know not every person has the same moral values, but I still can't understand it. I was pleased to know that by the end she did, in fact, love the baby. Thank goodness for that, or I'd be really ticked. Anyway, I give this book a big fat zero out of ten, and Marde since you loved and cared for Stacy so selflessly and unconditionally for 30 years, I highly recommend that you NOT read this book.